This is the first installment of what I expect to be many. Don't be alarmed by any negativity, because I plan a companion series called "Things that f-ing rule about being unemployed". Enjoy!
1. Puffy eyes and chapped nose. Luckily these two have mostly faded, but I feel an obligation to warn other potentially soon to be unemployed people out there. As I previously mentioned, stage one of losing your job involves tears when you are an emotional basket case like me. Fortunately for me, after finding out that I was losing my job I was told not to come to work the following day. This was a relief because my eyes were so puffy from crying I was unable to put my contacts in. Luckily I had the whole day to work on fixing it. I find that alternating between hot and cold washcloths worked pretty well. Also, cold spoons work wonders. For even more remedies, check out these awesome hints. After the puffiness subsided, the chapped nose arrived. After blowing my nose so much, it was left quite red and the skin began flaking off in the most unattractive manner (nose dandruff!). The best remedy for my chapped nose turned out to be lots of moisturizer, especially at night.
2. Tummy issues. My stomach has been a giant stress-filled knot all week. I'm sure it is primarily stress. It is a feeling I recognize, as I get the same one on the first day of teaching a class, taking comprehensive exams in grad school, and going on dates. All of these are guaranteed to make my stomach churn. So far this particular episode has been a dull, prolonged pain. Hopefully it goes away soon. Otherwise...
3. Crippling fear of things that could potentially cost you money. My stomach hurts. Should I go to the doctor? What if there is something wrong with me? What if I need surgery? What if it is an ulcer? Appendicitis? What if I need to use my insurance with a deductible of $5,000. Where will I get $5,000? Can I have a fundraiser? Would people donate? Is my car making a weird noise? It idles funny. What if I need a new car? What if someone hits my car and doesn't have insurance? Could I win a new car somehow? Could I sue to pay for the damages? Could I afford to hire a lawyer to sue? UGH, so many questions!
4. General concern over maintaining finances. I've always been very fiscally responsible. I have very little debt, which makes me very fortunate. However, the idea of having to live even more frugally than I have been is a little daunting. Why would Banana Republic taunt me with e-mail coupons. Don't they know I lost my job?! Maybe I should go to Banana Republic to just buy one thing to tide me over. I have a giftcard from Christmas, maybe I should just spend that. What if there is a good deal I can't turn down? Why are pink lady apples so damn expensive? Should I buy a different kind of apple? How much money could I save by switching to granny smith?
5. Unstructured time. This is going to take some work. I fear that it is only a matter of time until I give up showering and putting on real clothes, sleep until noon, and spend the rest of the day watching Netflix, or worse, bad daytime public television. My other fear, is constantly going out and spending money I don't have either shopping or purchasing outrageously priced apples.
I think I will stop at my top five concerns at the moment. There will be more. In order to end on a positive note, here is a website explaining why pink ladies are the greatest apples ever. This will maybe be its own blog post in the future...
http://www.apple-pinklady.com/faq
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