Pyramid Scheme Part 2

Well when I'm right, I'm right. I did indeed get invited for coffee to discuss a pyramid scheme. At least it was for Amway, one of the most famous pyramid schemes of our time. Interestingly, some people view Amway as a cult and they do use various cult-techniques in their recruitment. Luckily I am a strong soul. Or I don't have a soul. Either way I have no interest in joining the Amway cult.

In more exciting news. It is springtime in Omaha. This means not only is it gorgeous outside, but there is rumor of a taco truck somewhere outside my office building. Have no fear, I will be conducting a thorough investigation. Fingers crossed that it will be totally sketch and delicious and not some hipster bullshit.

Sandwich Day!

This actually took place on March 13th, and for some reason I forgot to post it. Since then I have had several more delightful experiences with these sandwiches. Enjoy!


I had a life changing experience. Involving a sandwich. As part of my new research into downtown food places, I kept seeing Worker's Takeout being rated as one of the highest places downtown. Apparently, they had relocated from midtown to downtown, and according to their website, exist somewhere inside the First National Building (doesn't everything?). I asked my co-worker if she had ever been there. She said no, but had heard that it was really good. We asked another co-worker, who said the exact same thing, and had always wondered where it was. Abandoning our salads and yogurt cups, we decided to go investigate. After spending entirely too much time on the internet trying to figure out exactly where it was, we decided to walk over there and look for a Scooters, which apparently housed a secret sandwich shop. After walking through the Brandeis building, under the street, and into the First National building. We wandered around looking for a Scooters. We ended up the atrium of the building where some people were eating lunch, but still no sign of a Scooters. We finally broke down and asked the front desk security guy, who seemed reluctant to give up the location, but assured us that it was "really good'.

He directed us to yet ANOTHER TUNNEL in the building that would take us under the street to where the old First National building used to reside (they still have some offices there). This tunnel was awesome because it was pimped out with some neon lights that reminded me of the Chicago O'Hare airport. I didn't take a picture because there were too many people around. We finally emerged out the other side and found the Scooters. The menu was overwhelming because everything sounded amazing. We both ended up getting half sandwiches, which we cut in half again to swap flavors. I got a roast beef, bacon, and artichoke sandwich, while my co-worker got a Cuban. Both were the most amazing sandwiches of all time and only cost about 4 bucks. Needless to say, we will be back. Repeatedly. 

Lunch was definitely the highlight of the day. When I went to leave the parking garage for the day, my BFF Melody informed me that the credit card machine was broken and the garage was cash only that day. Of course, I had spent my last bucks on that amazing sandwich (no regrets), and who the hell carries cash anyways? Instead of being cool about it, Melody proceeded to exit her tiny kiosk and yelled at the line of five cars behind me to "back up, she has to go get cash!". I was completely mortified. After backing my car up into a nearby parking space, I got out, thinking I would go wander aimlessly across the street where Melody told me there was an ATM. Luckily, my co-worker/sandwich eating partner in crime, was in the line to get out and had witnessed my social shaming. She loaned me the cash, and I awkwardly re-entered the line of cars. I suspect Melody and I might be on thin ice for a while.

Ladies Room Etiquette

I'm starting to be terrible at blogging again. The main reason is that things have been insanely busy at work. Like coming in before 8am and staying till 6pm crazy. It is awful. The good news is that I am paid hourly, so I will have a nice paycheck in a couple of weeks. Party!

Lots of good lunch adventures. I had an amazing hot turkey sandwich this week. Also, one of my co-workers and I attempted to crash an employee party at the First National building. To be fair, there was a cotton candy machine involved that made the whole lobby area smell amazing. Sadly, there were guards checking people's IDs, and we were wearing coats, which is a dead giveaway. Now that it is getting warmer, I suspect it will be easier to sneak into things. I also had a dude in line at Greek day offer me his pita bread. Not sure what that means, but it has to be slang for something. I politely declined, but next time I am saying yes to free pita.

I wanted to make a brief note on here about the horrifying bathroom situation at my job. There is a public restroom on my floor near the elevator bays. Our office building is kind of old, but seems nice enough. But the bathroom situation is always abysmal. Mainly because animals seem to use it. Today, for example, there was a toilet paper barrier covering one of the seats. Except someone pissed on it. WTF?! I feel like every time I go in the bathroom there is something weird or gross in the toilet, on the floor, or some combination of the two. To make matters worse, I have discussed it with the two women in my office and they have confirmed my suspicions. I'm not sure what can be done about this, but I'm leaning towards some passive aggressive post-it notes. It's how women solve most of their problems.

The day my boss bought lunch

So this project that I'm working on is becoming more brutal by the day. The end of it is drawing closer, but it is sadly becoming more complex and my boss is becoming increasingly frustrated with things beyond our mortal control. As a result, I went in to work today, even though I have been taking Fridays off to work on prepping for teaching. My co-worker and I made a pact that we would leave no later than 2pm. Otherwise, we both knew we would be stuck there until midnight. Our pact worked surprisingly well, even though the boss threw a bit of a tantrum over us not being done yet.

The bright side of the day was that he offered to order Jimmy Johns. Not the most exciting lunch choice, but he paid, which is always a high point. The funny part was that my boss is a super Catholic and made a big deal about ordering the tuna sandwich. For whatever reason, I suddenly felt compelled/pressured to act like I was a devout Catholic. Maybe I was subconsciously trying to make him like me more? Maybe I'm finally becoming more proactive about potentially going to hell for eating meat on Fridays? Maybe tuna just sounded good? No, that can't be right. Every time I eat tuna salad, I'm consistently let down that it isn't chicken salad. I make some bomb chicken salad.

Speaking of bombs, I feel compelled to tell you all about a new TV show that I "discovered". (Fact- I discover great television shows). It's called Bomb Girls and airs on some channel in Canada, but you can watch the first season on Netflix. It is kind of like Downton Abbey in that it is a period drama that is centered around women working in a bomb factory in Canada during World War II. It is as compelling as Downton Abbey, but with even better with plot twists that involve lesbians, industrial accidents, abortions, Italian prison camps, and fireworks. Can you imagine?! Fireworks!

Anyways, feel free to check out the trailer and thank me later after you marathon the whole series with your cat.

Spoonless Thursday

Sorry to disappoint my loyal readers with my lack of an update. The truth is, things have been crazy busy this week. The class that I am teaching on Saturdays takes A LOT of preparation. Also, going drinking on a Wednesday night hasn't helped my productivity. I should have more material next week, as we have a meeting with a potential client. I'm excited to dress up like a grownup, wearing jeans to work everyday is kind of overrated.

Today I forgot to bring a spoon to eat my yogurt with. I found several metal spoons in a cupboard in the office that looked like they were recovered from an archeological dig. I debated going downstairs to the Starbucks to steal a spoon, but was worried that I would be tempted into buying a giant cookie. Instead, I attempted to drink my yogurt, much to the amusement of my co-worker. Hopefully that was the embarrassment I needed to invest in a box of spoons.Or forks.

Opa!

First off, this particular blog entry is dedicated to my good friend and partner in eating Greek food, Taleen Brady. She is currently living in South Korea, where there is a cruel shortage of Greek food.

Today our boss was out of town, so I was anticipating an epic lunch. One of my co-workers brought her lunch, and the other asked me if I wanted to order Chinese food. I was horrified because I had been looking forward to this particular Thursday. On our office "Summit" calendar, it was clearly marked that today was Greek Islands day at THE SUMMIT. Between the failing Greek economy, and my friend Taleen suffering from Greek food withdrawals, I felt that it was my duty as an American to indulge in some tasty Greek food.

I walked over to the Summit by myself, feeling very Mary Tyler Moore-esq. I even remembered how to get there. Fun fact, because First National is the tallest building in Omaha, if you get lost you can just look up and walk towards the tower. When I got there, the line was literally wrapped around the entire gift shop. It was insane. I probably stood in line for 10-15 minutes. When I got up to the front of the line, they had huge trays of gyro meat, chicken, and salad. And a giant tub of tzatziki sauce. Like a 5 gallon paint bucket of it. Seriously.

I took my food back to the office where I made a total pig out of myself. Katie's is my favorite Greek restaurant in Omaha (feisty feta!), but my Greek Islands takeout gave it a run for its money. Their sauce was amazing, and their Greek potatoes were phenomenal. At Katie's, you get two giant potatoes, but these were adorable little bite-sized potatoes. They must also cook them with big cloves of garlic, because I accidentally ate a clove of garlic because it looked like a potato. It didn't even phase me. Despite an intense food coma afterwards, I will be marking my calendar for whenever Greek day comes up again.

#heaven

More Lunch Adventures!

I embarked on yet another lunch adventure today. I was invited by some friends who work at ConAgra to join them for lunch in their fancy on-campus cafeteria. Let me tell you, it was fancy. But the adventurous part was my decision to walk there.

People in Omaha generally don't walk to places. It's a strange but true fact. At my previous job, I once drove my car to a lunch place that was across the street and maybe half a block down. I'm not proud of this, but it was really hot out and I was wearing uncomfortable shoes. Today, I decided to embrace the downtown Omaha lifestyle and walk to lunch. My lunch destination was about six blocks away, or just under a mile, according to my fancy pedometer. The main downfall was my poor shoe choice. I thought I was being smart by wearing flats, but they still hurt after a while. Next time I will pack some white Reeboks and fanny pack to change into. The second downfall was that it was COLD. My phone told me it was about 30 degrees, which isn't terrible by Nebraska terms, but the wind was a bit brutal at times. I'm pleased to report that I made it there in decent time without getting hit by a car. Even better, one of my friends was leaving early and drove me back to my office. I would have walked, but I probably had stayed too long between lunch and a fun office tour.

Be sure to check back for more lunch adventures. The boss is out of town tomorrow, so who knows what the day might bring...

Lunch time!!!

I finally got to experience the joy of downtown lunch! One of my co-workers suggested that we check out all the secret places and offered to show me where everything is. We invited my boss and he politely declined, so there is still awkwardness there.

We first left our building and headed to the Brandeis building, which is a fancy historical landmark in Omaha. It used to be big department store, where my mom would go and get her picture taken with Santa when she was growing up. It's still a very pretty building, but the inside is a hodgepodge of abandoned office buildings, and new condos that are being built. The food court is in the basement and has nearly every ethnicity you could hope for represented. There is also an Eileen's Cookies and a Vic's Corn Popper for if you just want snacks. Unfortunately, today was President's Day, a fake holiday in which the banks are closed, thus taking out a large chunk of the downtown population. Instead of eating at Brandeis, we continued through an UNDERGROUND TUNNEL. Yes, you read that correctly. There is an underground tunnel that leads over to what I think is the old First National Building (we were inside, so it was tough to tell exactly which building it was). Inside, they have what looks like a normal giftshop (random for being inside a bank). If you go to the very back of the giftshop, they have a takeout area where different caterers come in. Today was La Mesa (Mexican food for those of you who don't speak Spanish). I ended up with a giant takeout box of Mexican food, plus chips for about $8.00 bucks. We took our food back to the office, because there weren't a ton of seats, and so we could pretend to talk about work stuff to get paid through the lunch hour. Classic!

The only downside was feeling incredibly full and sleepy after eating all of that. It might have to be a once in a while treat for me, since I am trying to maintain my unemployment diet (down almost 20 pounds, holla!).

To balance out my victorious lunch, you know something else had to happen to spoil it. In honor of President's Day, the parking garage was half empty. I normally park on the top level, because it is so full (and because the view is a beautiful thing to walk out to after a long day). However, today, I parked on level four, making a mental note. When I went to look for my car, I definitely could not find it, and wandered around for probably 7-10 minutes. Super embarrassing because a lot of people drove by and probably thought I was drunk.

I also missed my interstate exit again. Win some, lose some.


If it was 1908, I may have eaten lunch here.

Day Two Awkwardness...

I think I jinxed myself with all of my glorious talk about lunch. Through a series of bizarre events, I did not even eat lunch today. No, I'm not anorexic, or trying to maintain my depression-fueled Unemployment Diet. Here's how it went down.

Today it was only me and my new boss in the office. I had assumed that he would take me to lunch, due to the information I received yesterday about him going out for lunch everyday, and the fact that I am delightful and everyone wants to have lunch with me. However, as a backup, I took a cereal bar and a Soup at Hand with me, just in case.

My boss left for lunch and did not invite me. It was awkward. Maybe he was meeting someone else for lunch? Maybe he is manorexic, and actually doesn't eat lunch? Maybe he thought I would be weirded out by a lunch invitation? Maybe he was worried about sexually harassing me? I did have on a rather fetching cardigan today. After he left the office, I pondered these various explanations and then decided I would just eat my soup that I brought. At that point, I realized we do not have a microwave, or any other mechanism for heating soup. We have a refrigerator, a Keurig machine, and a fancy water cooler (hot and cold water!), but I definitely imagined a microwave that does not exist on this plane of reality. I briefly considered having cold soup (it was creamy tomato) or thinking of some way to use the hot water from the water cooler to heat it. Neither option seemed appealing.

Next, I considered leaving and going somewhere for lunch by myself. I decided against this because. 1. It sounded depressing. 2. I was worried about potentially running into my boss at a nearby lunch establishment and dealing with more awkwardness. 3. It looked kind of dreary out and I wasn't thrilled about leaving the building to wander around in search of food.

Finally, after all of this obsession, I realized that I actually wasn't even hungry. I went in at 10am, meaning I had a later breakfast and wasn't even hungry at noon. It was all in my head! So I powered through the stuff I was working on and ate my cereal bar later in the afternoon. When my boss came back from "lunch" he didn't even acknowledge that I didn't appear to have eaten lunch. Maybe he thinks I have an eating disorder?

The moral of the story is to bring a backup lunch that does not require heating. Or to make lunch plans with someone in advance.

Today also ended with a minor emotional breakdown in my car driving home. Mainly because I cannot figure out how to efficiently get home from downtown during rush hour traffic. That might need to be its own entry though.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat all of my calories for the day for dinner.

Day One!

Today I started my new gig! I think things went pretty smoothly, considering I was rolling on three hours of sleep and puking the night before. I was able to get up sufficiently early to drive downtown and figure out how to get into the parking garage I needed. Then, I went to the wrong building. There are actually two larger "towers" downtown labeled north and south, and I accidentally went to the north one instead. Luckily, I got there plenty early to bond with the dude at the information desk. I'm working with a friend from school and she gave me a tour, including the skywalk, which is the easier way to get to the garage, and to ensure that I reach the correct tower. Our office is pretty cool. It looks like a "real" office. Especially compared to what I was in before. Some of the highlights include: really nice chairs, windows that overlook downtown Omaha, a watercooler (just like in the movies!), and what appears to be an unlimited supply of Bakers chocolates. I'm also excited about all of the places to eat lunch downtown. From what I hear, the other people in the office are very "pro lunch". I might just gain back my ten pounds that I have lost while unemployed. First, there are a billion restaurants nearby. Second, the First National bulding (the one I puked in one time) rotates catering from different restaurants every day. Third, Union Pacific is right across the street, and the rumor is that they have a kick ass cafeteria that is open to the public. Finally, there is the Brandeis building that has tons of secret restaurants in the basement that only downtown people know about. Apparently there is a really good Greek place that even serves breakfast. Greek breakfast! Can you imagine?

So naturally eating food is what I'm most excited about at this point. The work itself is likely going to be a little on the tedious side, but I'm excited about learning something new. Tomorrow is just me and the boss. He told me not to come in until 10 (he is also pro sleeping in).

That's all I got for now, blog world. I'll keep you posted on any exciting developments, like what I eat for lunch tomorrow, and how long it takes me to drive home in rush hour traffic. Stay tuned!