Pyramid Schemes and Other Dreams

Here's some life advice for all of you out there, if someone ever asks you if you are looking to make some extra money, you should probably always say NO. Here is how I came to this conclusion.

Someone from my former job recently sent me a message through LinkedIn (where all evil stems from) asking how I was doing and if I had found a job. First off, this is like four months after I got laid off. Of course I found another job. I'm fucking awesome and have a master's degree. She said asked whether I was looking for some project work to make some extra money. I wrote back telling her that I did indeed have a job, and asked if she could provide more details about this "project work". I figured if it was something straightforward like doing data entry or analysis, I could certainly do that in my spare time, giving me more experience and building some connections as an external consultant. Rather than responding to my questions like a normal human being, she gave my phone number to her daughter, whom I have been playing phone tag with for three weeks now. She only leaves cryptic messages about wanting to talk to me about an "opportunity". I finally got to talk to this person today and we are getting together tomorrow for coffee to talk about whatever the fuck this is. I still have no idea. How do I get myself into these situations? I assume it is either a pyramid scheme, or some kind of prostitution ring. Be sure to check back to find out how it all goes down.

In other news, work has been surprisingly more normal in recent days. My boss asked me about my dissertation progress, and I said I thought it was getting fairly close. He responded by saying that was bad news because he "didn't want to lose me". Is that not the most romantic thing a man can say to a woman? This was honestly the first glimmer I have ever seen that he has anything other than contempt and loathing for my obvious incompetence. It was kind of amazing. I agreed to co-facilitate a webinar with him, so that should be a nice blog-worthy nightmare soon enough. So far, my job involves finding research articles and making powerpoint slides, two things that are both in my wheelhouse. I'll be sure to let you all know where you can sign up for my webinar soon enough.

Blog Love!

Thanks to the amazing Taleen Brady for plugging my blog on her blog. The truth is, hers is way cooler than mine and she was the inspiration for me starting my blog. It will change your life.

I quit numbering my days on the job, because they are starting to blur together a bit. I get paid next week, which I am pretty jazzed about. I'm already plotting on how to spend my newly earned money after my triumphant return to the same budget I used while I graduate school (hint: it will involve pink lady apples and Banana Republic).

This week is going much more smoothly. I'm finally figuring things out and becoming more efficient at getting things done, and maybe even impressing the boss a little bit. I'm also forcing him to talk to me more, thus causing him to like me and be nicer. So far it's working. I sometimes think I would like to teach a class on social skills that everyone in America would be required to take. I could design the curriculum and market it to the masses at a huge profit. I've been doing some preliminary research on this by testing my own social skills.

Being unemployed is lonely business. Most of the time I would spend at home alone with my cat (who you know was very judgmental at the time), or out being treated to lunch or drinks my unemployment sympathizers. Now that I am around people again, I'm trying to embrace it. I've already become besties with Melody, the parking garage attendant. Our discussions right now are primarily weather-based, but I'm excited to see where our relationship goes. Maybe she will go to lunch with me? I've also been trying to talk to people in elevators, which has been fairly successful so far. Finally, I try to say hi to everyone I pass in the hallway. I never knew that people did this in workplaces, because in graduate school, people were chronically awkward and unfriendly. It's nice to have human interaction again!

Speaking of lunch, I have still yet to experience lunchtime awesomeness, mainly because I've been working through lunch due to some project deadlines. Maybe next week the lunch revolution will start? Maybe I will ask Melody to join me...