The tooth about unemployment...

Warning, this entry might be disturbing.

I had a super creepy and vivid dream last night that involved my teeth falling out. It started with one loose tooth on the bottom, near the back of my mouth. I thought it was unusual, but for some reason thought there might be another tooth underneath it that was trying to grow in. I tried to avoid touching it, but eventually decided to pull it out. Terrible idea. The rest of my nearby teeth seemed to be all attached, and easily removable. It was super horrifying. I'm probably not explaining it that great, but it was a dream and is a bit fuzzy. Also, if I did a good job of explaining, it would probably scar you for life.

This dream is noteworthy for a couple of reasons. First, I've been having terrible insomnia, as previously noted. So it is lousy that my first night of decent sleep was ruined by such a traumatic dream. The second noteworthy aspect is that I seldom remember my dreams. I just don't. Or, I'm the kind of person who will think during my dream "hey, I should remember this so I can tell people about it when I wake up" and then I never do. The third reason, is that the teeth falling out dream has been a recurring one that has haunted me for years.

I think it may have started my senior year of high school. I was one of those kids who was anxious about college and basically everything else in my life. I think it reoccurred my senior year of college when I was trying to decide what to do for grad school, and likely again around the time I had my wisdom teeth out, when there was a legitimate fear of my teeth falling out. I'm sure there have been other instances, but those are the ones that stand out in my mind. There are sometimes variations of the dream. Like one time it was my teeth disintegrating in my mouth while I was trying to chew food. Otherwise, its the bloody, gross variety like the one from last night. Either way, it is creeptastic enough to stick out in my mind.

So what does my teeth falling out dream mean in my unemployed state? I dig some digging, and found a couple of interpretations. Teeth are considered a symbol of power (e.g. used to bite, chew, and rip things on a kind of neanderthal level). Losing your teeth can mean that you are feeling powerless. Other interpretations include, feeling self-conscious about your appearance, fear of getting old, and fear of rejection. These dreams can also result from feelings of inferiority and lack of self-confidence or feelings of control over some aspect of your life? Finally, the myth of the Tooth Fairy appears to have a loose association with these types of dreams, so it is possible that I will be coming into a large sum of money soon. Let's go with that one.


This will haunt your dreams...

Productivity!

I finally had a breakthrough today. I finished a grant application, which is ready to mail, and also submitted a new draft of my dissertation. Hooray! I think I am more productive when I work on things at school, as much as I hated to leave my apartment today (it was about nine degrees outside all day). Also, the traffic leaving campus to drive home sucks. Otherwise, I can't complain too much about getting stuff done.

Since that is my positive news, I will mention the negative news. My insomnia is not going away. It might be getting worse. I tossed and turned until about 3am last night. Brutal. I briefly contemplated getting up and trying to do something or watch a movie. I also considered a drive to wait for the sun to rise, but again, it's damn cold out these days. Instead I continued to lay there staring at the ceiling. Hopefully it stops soon...

Snow Day!

Overnight we had about 4 inches of snow fall, resulting in a snow day for most of Omaha. Me? Not impressed. Everyday is a snow day for me. Although I'm happy for all of my teacher friends and their excited Facebook statuses about sleeping in, I can't help thinking how old it is getting. Sometimes we need a reason to get out of bed and put pants on. Also, kids being off school means that all of the horrible children in my apartment complex are home all day and are being extra annoying.

The good news is that I now will have a reason to get up and put real pants on. I found some work! I'll be doing some project/contract work with a local consulting firm doing some compensation analysis. It is something I have never done before, so I am excited to learn something new and hopefully add to my professional development. The project is only expected to last 2-3 weeks, but it is better than nothing, and the extra money will be nice.

Speaking of money, I started on my tax return and it looks like for the first time in many years I will be getting a decent refund. In 2011, when I did my taxes I had five different W2s, resulting in my owning the government a pretty penny. A lot of this was due to small jobs where I made very little money and thus paid very little taxes. I also had some independent contract work where they don't take taxes out. It was awesome at the time, but it really hurt when tax season came around. This past year, for the first time in a while, I only had one W2, hence the nice refund. I wonder how many I will have in 2013? So far I have four lined up, maybe I can break my previous record. I'll just have to keep in mind to mentally prepare for the harshness of the contract work.

That's all I have for now. I'll keep you all posted when I start my contact work next Monday. I will be working downtown, which should be a fun new adventure. Very Mary Tyler Moore. I might need to buy a beret to throw into the air.

In honor of Omaha's snow day, check out these fun pictures of cats enjoying snow.

Time is flying by...

I'm already becoming terrible at blogging. Part of the reason, is I worry I am running out of material. The other reason, is I can feel myself getting more depressed about my situation. I'm doing a decent job of fighting it off, but it definitely comes and goes. I was feeling really optimistic about some leads for project work, I've sent several e-mails to contacts, letting them know that I am available for ANYTHING. And I have yet to receive a single response. Must not panic yet, but we're almost up to a month here.

This weekend I did a lot of drinking. Probably not the healthiest, most constructive thing to do, but it felt good and I needed to get it out of my system. Unfortunately, that meant that the other part of the weekend involved laying on my couch hungover with my judgmental cat. We did take a nap together. It was adorable.

On Saturday, I took all of the change I could find in my apartment to the bank to cash in. Hello $27.71. The bank teller definitely thought I was crazy. I tried to make some jokes about it to lighten the mood, but she didn't seem to think I was funny. Her loss. The good news is I won't have to do that again anytime soon because I literally cashed in every single coin I could find. The bad news is, I no longer have a crazy supply of quarters for the DIY carwash.

To put a positive spin on things, I'm hoping this blog will be useful in forcing me to do constructive things with my time, rather than sitting around watching Netflix and eating frozen yogurt (it's healthier than ice cream). My second goal is to be able to look back on this time in my life one day, and hopefully marvel at how far I have come. Or laugh. Or use it as a basis to write my memoirs.

The good news is, I'm not alone...

Turns out lots of people are unemployed. And not just in the U.S.

Apparently there are 197 million jobless people around the world.

Next step? Let's organize and start a revolution. Or at least meet at the bar.


Sorry employed people who hate their jobs, you've already had your day in the sun. 

Things that rock about being unemployed...

I caught a little bit of depression yesterday while watching the inauguration coverage on TV yesterday. I found myself wonder how I would respond to the question "Are you better off than you were four years ago?" I'm still not sure what the answer is, but rather dwelling on negative things, I thought I would write about a more positive topic.

One thing that rocks about being unemployed is the incredible amount of support you receive from the people around you. I'm in awe over the number of people who have sent me messages of encouragement, job postings, taken me out to eat, listen to me vent, bought me drinks to drown my sorrows, it's just amazing. If you're reading this, odds are that you are one of these amazing people. Thank you.

In other news, it snowed last night and according to local news, people have once again forgotten how to drive cars. Instead, I am holed up in my apartment with a blanket, drinking coffee, and watching the 25th Anniversary Special of Les Mis. A girl could get used to this lifestyle...

In case you were wondering, my cat is in the other room. She hates musicals about French revolutions and resents me.

Check out these awesome Les Mis memes!

My cat hates that I am unemployed...

One of my favorite things about having a job was coming home and seeing how excited my cat was to see me after being away for eight long hours. She would come running to greet me at the door and purr like crazy.

This joy has been taken away from me.

In fact, my cat seems to be openly resentful about my new unemployed status.

Now that I am home almost all day, there is no opportunity for her to miss me. In addition, I seem to be encroaching on her space and daily routine. I haven't been sleeping in much, mainly because if I sleep past eight, she gets angry because I am not up feeding her. If I stay in bed, she will jump on me and try to bite me until I get up to feed her. I guess she is doing her part to keep me from falling into a deep depressive state and sleeping all day.

Whenever I am in my living room working at my computer, she either leaves the room to go sleep on my bed, or insists on getting all up in my business. For example, she has tried pushing my laptop off the table, eating my flashdrive while it is plugged in, and knocking over everything in my apartment. Does she want me to play with her? No. If I make any attempt, she loses interest and leaves the room. I can only assume she is communicating her displeasure with my being home all day and is essentially telling me to quit being a deadbeat and to go get a job.

Hopefully things get better soon, otherwise I will be looking for a therapist for us...
At least she hasn't written me a harsh letter, like this one.

IMMA EAT YOUR FLASHDRIVE!