Happily married people should probably skip this post...

But for the rest of us out there fighting the good fight, enjoy!

Noooooooo!

Clearly I need a new plan for immortality because drinking wine is apparently not going to cut it anymore.

Click here for the story!

Is nothing sacred?!

I may be accidentally stumbling on to a new direction for my blog. Every morning when I log in to my computer at work, the homepage is automatically set to MSN.com. So far I have found plenty of headlines that inspire me to write blogs. Maybe an MSN-a-day blog? I don't want to box myself in, but at any rate, here is my MSN outrage for today.

The headline for this story was "Parents want ice cream boycott". Naturally, this caught my attention because I love both ice cream and boycotting things, and yet those words should never be in the same sentence. Ever.

Of course, I immediately thought this had something to do with Michelle Obama's fight against childhood obesity. Would parents really attack ice cream in order to save their children from an early death?

Sadly, this was not the case. These parents are interested in boycotting only one type of ice cream. Specifically, Ben & Jerry's new flavor "Schweddy Balls". Perhaps you've read about this new quirky flavor. Although the idea of rum balls in ice cream sounds a little gross, I had certainly planned on giving the new flavor a whirl, for the sake of novelty alone (also, it contains malt balls, which I am a big fan of). Perhaps now I will buy an entire case of it and give it out at elementary school playgrounds. Aren't there more important things to be outraged about?

Click here to read the story and be outraged!

It's hard being a celebrity...

On top of everything else that goes along with being famous, you have to be on the lookout for people trying to steal your food. I heard this story on the radio about a guy that broke into Celine Dion's house, ran himself a bath, and ate a bunch of her pastries before the home security system even knew what happened. Although this story is funny, and makes me have a great respect for French Canadian burglars (seriously, how Canadian is that?), celebrity burglaries are no laughing matter. It must be hard enough having to be Nicholas Cage, but having to be Nicholas Cage and have to deal with a naked dude in your house eating your fudgsicles is more than any human being should have to endure.

http://wonderwall.msn.com/movies/the-most-bizarre-celebrity-burglaries-15132.gallery?GT1=28148

OLD PEOPLE LOVE TYPING IN ALL CAPS!

Especially in e-mails. On the interweb.
That's all I got for today.